three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize