toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
