She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
