Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
