Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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