absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
