Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
