champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
