it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
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