my soul wont recognize me after tonight
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
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