Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
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