I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
