he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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