Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
