He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
