the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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