Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
