He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
