omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
