come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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