Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
