So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
