hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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