omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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