Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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