She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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