Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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