my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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