Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
