I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
