I feel like I'm in dance class right now
My first STD was from a foam party
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I wish you could order shots online.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
