I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
