so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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