Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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