I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
