Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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