apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
do herpes really smell.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
