walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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