sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
this beer tastes like vomit already
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize