Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
