The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
