The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
