he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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