He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
