Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
