I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
why do cheetos always look like penises
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
