My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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