Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
