he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
