I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
