Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize