That's when you crack a 10am beer
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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