I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize