Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
