I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
