she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
