I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I think I died a long time ago.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize