I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
