we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
