do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
