So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
