he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
