Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
