What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
There's always time for handjobs
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize