Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Randomize
