Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize