I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
