how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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