I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize