she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
